I'm letting go

Have you ever held on to something too tightly? So tight that it couldn't even move. Have you ever held that power over someone else? Have you ever felt like you are the only thing that is keeping it together? Have you ever felt like you were forcing it? Have you ever realized that? Have you realized that if you were to let go, that maybe it wouldn't willingly be here next to you? Have you hurt like this?

Yes.

"And you will never really know how someone truly feels about you, until you both have a little bit of [power]." - I forgot who quote this

Just let it go.

When you love someone so deeply
They become your life
It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside
Blindly I imagined I could
Keep you under glass
Now I understand to hold you
I must open up my hands
And watch you

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly, butterfly

I have learned that beauty
Has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled
Or their spirit dies...
You have given me the courage
To be all that I can
And I truly feel your heart will
Lead you back to me
When your ready to...

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly, butterfly

I can't retend these tears
Aren't over flowing steadily
I cant prevent this hurt from
Almost overtaking me

But I will stand and say goodbye
For you will never be mine
Until you know the way it feels
To spread your wings and fly

Butterfly by Mariah Carey

3 Weeks Post-Op Update

I love them so much. I can't explain how content I am with my decision to go with silicone. I will admit though, that the first week post-op I was a bit dissatisfied with the size and thought that I should have went bigger; to 600cc's (I'm 500cc's right now). But everyone around me thinks they are ginormous! Even when I went to Vegas, I wore some pretty low cut shirts and dresses and I would get a lot of men and WOMEN breaking their necks looking down at my chest, so I guess that says something. Maybe they are a bit big. Any who, I love them regardless. They are so soft, especially for being only three weeks old. My doctor says that I am having a great recovery and they are exactly how he would have expected them to look. I was shocked that I didn't have any bruising at all, could be that I took Anica but even then, I would have expected some sort of bruising and swelling. My swelling only lasted about a day and a half. I remember Megan's boobies swelling for a long time and not dropping till about a year or so. Well, I am just so please with Dr. Ip's work. He is officially my plastic surgeon. Not admitting that I'm getting anymore cosmetic surgery, just insisting he would be the one if I did in the future. They are just more than what I expected. My scars are really clean you can barely even see it. I am just so ecstatic. Hehe Hehe A happy new me. Now the only thing I have to worry about is shedding about 40lbs lol. Sounds easy riiiiiiiight?

DIY: 5 Minute Spring Floral Earings

This is the inspiration. I found these ear rings on Forever21.com and I remembered that I purchased some extra "scrapbook" flowers for Mother's Day that I didn't use. So I opened up my little bag and started working with some scraps. I ended up making 3 pairs of ear rings, it was quick and easy, and they came out lovely! And a lot cheaper than they would be at Forever21 and Forever21 is already hella cheap. :)



These are all the supplies you need: Scissors, pink hot glue gun, cheap diamond stud ear rings or ear ring hooks, paper scrapbooking flowers from Micheal's Arts & Crafts its like $3, and card stock or thick paper (optional).


For the dangling 3 flower ear rings: I cut a small piece of card stock (1/2 inch). Cut the wire off of the flowers and glued the flowers to the card stock (paper) and poked a hole at the tip of the paper with the ear ring hook and slid the hook through! And Wa la!
For the studs, I just cut the floral wire off and glued it the diamond studs.


Three new and in style pairs of ear rings for the Spring season and even Summer!

Mothers Day and G-mothers Day Cards

My Mother's Day card. This is not finished. All I have to do is stick on some letters and maybe a quote. I haven't seen my mom yet, not til this weekend so I still have time.


I made this card for Nyle's beloved grandma Lane. She loved it!

Chinese, Cambodian, or American Wedding?

VS.


Chinese, Cambodian, or American Wedding or all three?? lol
My ideal wedding would include all three ceremonies but, 3 days is too much and too expensive. How do you put all three traditions in one day and make it as magnificent as possible? Or do I have to pick the ones that I want most? No, that's out of the question, my dilemma is how to put it all together. I love all three heritage and all three traditions too much to let one or two not be apart of my big day. I know it will probably be at least 4 years until the big day but it doesn't hurt to start planning in advance. lol After all it is a little girl's dream, to have that fairy tale wedding. Not to mention next month is June, the month favored most for a nice sunny wedding day.


How about we put a little twist in it? A Western wedding dress with a Cambodian inspiration. I am definitely getting my dress made by a Cambodian! I think we have found a solution! Well this is only a solution to my dresses, the wedding ceremony, of course is most important! ;p


Cambodian

So beautiful! I love the intricate designs on her sleeve.

Chinese

One time, bow to the priest, two time, bow to your parents, three time bow to each other. I think I have that right. :)


This is an occasion dress by a Cambodian designer. This dress is unbelievable.


This has nothing to do with weddings but I found it while browsing. Awww I want to get this for my God daughter. But I like the yellow gold ones better.

Saying "WE" comes naturally

A Mothers Day Card for His Mother

What do you get the mother that has it all? And also lives too far to visit lol? You make her a card that will give her an everlasting impression. My hubby and I took a trip down to Joann's arts and crafts store in Las Vegas, and believe me, the Las Vegas crafts stores are like bored old lady heaven compared to the Orange County ones near my house. lol. There was a huge selection of everything and anything you can imagine, half the store is dedicated to just fabrics alone, 5 aisles to just card stock... just card stock alone. So I came to the perfect place. It was a good idea that I already had a theme in mind. His mother is an all American Kentucky derby fan with a big heart for horses (she raised her own horse too). So what better than to make a card with a Kentucky derby theme! If you know Kentucky derby, then you will know that the sole reason women go to the derby is for none other than the fashion... HATS HATS HATS. So this is the card that came to be after spending like 3 hours in 2 aisles lol. I'm very meticulous when it comes to my artwork, its the only perfection I have towards anything but the look on Nyle's face when he saw it, made it all worth it and hopefully his mom has the same reaction.

Inspired by the Kentucky derby hat.








Well, now all I have to do is whip up three more of these (my mother, my grandmother, and his grandmother) that are equally as impressive. Mothers day Oh Mothers Day... lol.

I have no discipline; I am too fat.

It can happen!

I have it just too easy; too much freedom and it's negative long term effects have taken its physical and mental affects on my body. Less than a year ago, I weighed 135 lbs and I was pretty happy with that size (of course 125 lbs is my ideal size) but I have lost myself and now weight 165 lbs. It make me sad to admit that fat people really do get treated differently and I have the first hand experience to tell you. Skinny people get first class treatment, trust me, it is a world of differences when you are skinny. Trust me. And the sad thing about it is that people don't purposely do it; it come naturally to be mean to fat people. I just want to look good and know I look good and feel good and live longer. I have quit smoking and that did take a lot of self control and I'm still battling these urges (Visiting Vegas casinos right now does not help at all). So to loose weight, get healthy, stay healthy and get a banging ass body, lets start with some discipline:
Set up a daily routine. Consider it a challenge.

---

May Challenge

1. Go to the gym.
-Run for 1 minnute strait @ speed level 6.5.
-Jog for 10 mins @ speed level 3.
-Do some lunges/ sit ups/ push ups for 10 mins.
-Be out of the gym in 30 mins yaya!

2. Don't drink anything else besides water. Good bye sweet tea and caramel frappe.

3. NO fried foods. No exceptions.

4. Message my breasts for 30 mins. I have to get em soft otherwise risk of capsular contraction.

5. 1700 calories a day. No more over eating, who cares if you waste the food. Just take it to go or throw it away.

---

Reward: Treat myself to a $100 shopping spree at Forever 21

Challenge ends June 4th
Starting stats: 163 lbs, 36-39-39 measurements
Target stats by June 4th: 153 lbs, 36-36-38
Target stats: 130 lbs, 36-26-37