People are like Wine

Here are the beautiful twins and can you believe that they are already 10 months old?!?? I can hardly believe it myself because they feel like they have been with me my entire adulthood. I have to admit that I do love them so so so much and that I do feel like I look a lot better. I have to make this brief. Also, I have lost 4.8lbs in the last month! I have kept to my strict Slimfast diet and exercise 30 minutes a day at least three times a week. My last official recorded weight in was on Saturday, March 6, 2010 at 162.4lbs, which isn't even the biggest I weight. I think at the beginning of the year I was bouncing back and forth between 166 and 169lbs. WOW! Right! Well, TODAY, my darlings I am at 157.6lbs! You know, working out and eating right does pay off, I mean if it isn't the fact that I am going to look bomb as hell, well, its the fact that I feel a lot healthier and have more energy. Since, I have been dieting and exercising, I have woke up earlier thus giving me longer days to do what I gotta get done and I feel better and more productive. I mean, I never thought that I would ever lose my weight. At the beginning of this year, I was reading my old blogs and I was like, "WTFudge? This was a year ago!?!? How can I be so careless about myself that I would let my desire sit on a rock for a fucking year???" I had to really sit and evaluate myself at that point. I mean, I cannot believe that I really let myself go and for this long? I mean, you just get to a point where you are like, "I'm done. I am really sick and tired of this and I want to get back to the life that I use to live and be happy and free and not ashamed of how I look and how certain clothes look on me and being too damn tired to finish my errands and that people are judging me when I eat and that 'those chicks over there are hot, but I'm not'" No! I want to be those hot chicks. I want to be 'not here' is where I want to be. When I use to watch Shanti's videos (aka AntiShay on youtube) I use to tell myself, "Wow, that girl is very strong. I wonder how she got to her goal?" I mean, she has a whole website inundated with ways to lose weight "the healty way" and her raw foods diet and her financial advising and how she is debt free at age 23 and bla bla bla and I'm like, "How?... Oh well. That is just her scenario. I can never get myself to do that." Well, I got to that POINT.

The point where you felt like you have hit rock bottom and that you are sick and tired of living this way. I have heard so many people say that, "You will get sick and tired of it and change." Well, I never believed it. But now I do. And now I am changing becasue this is a state that I don't want to be in- be stuck in. I mean if you have ever felt like you have wanted to change something but can't find the will power to do so, well my friend I can't say much about that besides that I don't think anyone can really change until they hit rock bottom. Until you experience the worst effects of what you have been doing for the past few years actually HIT you (affect you). Then you will never ever want to turn back around and change. Why change if things are still okay? Righhhht??

Well, I guess you gotta hit rock bottom "because if you are really at the bottom then there is no where to go but up" right? Well... on the scale you are going to go down. LOL. But generalizing this quote, you don't really have much choice but to go back up. Right? Well, I felt it. I felt that. The feeling that I began to hate who I have become and that feeling has pushed me to change. I really really hate my unhealthy weight and its toll on my lifestyle. Well, I gotta go.

QOTD: "People are like wine. They perform better under a little bit of pressure. Not too much- just a little."